Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
