Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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