his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
