everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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