4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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