Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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