batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
