i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
