We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
