Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
