Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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