i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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