Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
