Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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