Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
