I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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