trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
