But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
