Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
