I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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