OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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