Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
