ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Hippo gnu deer
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
