you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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