I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
