Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
