"it" just moved
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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