There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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