apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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