I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
