Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize