I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There r osticjed everywhere
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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