Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
