Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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