no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize