Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
