u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
