bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Enjoy the penises
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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