i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize