It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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