Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face