i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
