This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
