so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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