I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
