a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
