It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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