i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
