I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
