I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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