I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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