stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
