alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
