Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Enjoy the penises
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
