she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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