just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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