am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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