I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
3pm strippers are depressing
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
